adventures of beck

Friday, July 14, 2006

Return of the Ears

Sonar will have been in our household for 2 weeks tomorrow. It has been easily the longest 2 weeks of my life. People talk about how hard many things are: working for a paycheck, cleaning your bathroom, owning a home, a vehicle, choosing a major, even having children. They gab about the difficulties of customer service, of exterminating cockroaches, of choosing a place to live, even balancing their finances. Some talk about arresting a suspect, putting out a chemical fire, going through a divorce, and doing open heart surgery. But you know what? This all pales drastically in the face of RAISING A PUPPY. You expect the house accidents, the barking, the digging, the desire to chew, the energy, the need to play, even the whining. But what you don't expect is leaning over to tie your shoe, and having a puppy jump at your face. Or, walking through a room, and having a puppy attack your pants. Or even better, a small creature getting THAT EXCITED FOR FREAKING KIBBLE. Or: eating woodchips. And dirt. And rotten fruit. And poop. And fuzz. And water bottle caps. And grass, glorious grass. If you were THAT EXCITED FOR KIBBLE, then why are you eating everything else? Puppy toys are everywhere. Even in the front yard. Squeaky ducks, bones of every kind, rope toys, and things we didn't expect to be toys: cardboard boxes, stuffed aliens, plastic milk cartons (oh crap, she's eating that, get it away from her!) Things you forgot you trained your adult dog to do, you expect the new dog to just "know." But of course, she doesn't. Taking something from her usually involves her sharp puppy teeth nicking your knuckles, wiping her feet after coming in is the same. If I lay on the floor, Kayak will come snuggle in to me, laying his head on my arm. Sonar will come deposit her chest on my face, and chew on my hair (super glad I'm growing it out, so it could be a chew toy.) If I tell Kayak to "c'mere" he does, unless something smells really good, then he'll wag his tail, as if to say "I'm sorry, this smells good, I'll come in a minute." Sonar will just space out. Like she forgot her name. That's when you start grinding your teeth. The night she wouldn't stop whining, I woke up with a pounding headache, after grinding my teeth all night. I took her outside 3 times in 6 hours that night. She peed every time. Kayak is putting up with more of her crap than ever, but even he has his limits, and he gives her a good loud Bark-to-the-Face to let her know she's being a turd. People, strangers, constantly approach her "awwww, a puppy." They ruin all my training by letting her jump up, and I want to kill them. Or at least make them take her. Cute, huh? Well, see how cute she is when you get bit by those damned teeth. This weekend we're taking her to Michigan. Should be quite a trip. I'll post pictures. Her ear is starting to straighten out again, after briefly tipping over.


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