adventures of beck

Monday, March 24, 2008

Puppy Adoption Guide

So you're thinking of adopting a puppy. That's great! There are many options to consider. The best way to make a match is to look at your lifestyle and choose a breed who's personality will mesh nicely. Consider the times of day you work, socialize, and eat. Write them down. Open a box of matches. Strike the match on the box, and ignite your old schedule. It will be useless once you have a puppy. Hold on a minute, I have to pull the tennis ball out from under the computer desk. It's 11:52pm and Sonar is hoping we can get in a little more ball. By "hoping" I mean staring at me very meaningfully, and occasionally vocalizing. By vocalizing I mean barking. In my ear.

Back to the Puppy Adoption Guide. One of the most important considerations is a puppy's energy level. Puppies have a great deal of energy that they can draw upon to learn about the world around them. Some puppies will grow up to be herding dogs. Some will be retrieving dogs. Others still will be pointers. Most will be Annoyers, Barkers, Diggers, Chewers, Pee-ers, Jumpers, and Destructors. Best of all, your dog might be Neurotic, Shy, or Remarkably-Persistant-at-Dropping-The-Ball-Under-The-Desk. Like mine. Right now. The best way to guess is to flip a coin.

Puppies learn at an astounding rate. On TV, dogs frequently catch frisbees on football fields, rescue people from the dark, scary woods, and lead the blind. In real life, dogs learn that if they jump on you enough times, you will eventually learn to like it. Many dogs have also learned to tip over their water bowls, steal food off the counter, intimidate the cat, and hump your leg. Leader Dogs for the Blind never hump legs. Supposedly.

Frightened? You should be. How does anyone survive the puppy years? By ignoring the experts. Many experts say you should never, ever pick a puppy based on looks. You should pick on temperment, personality, breed characteristics, size, age, and female vs. male pros and cons. Ask anyone with a 4 month to 2 year old dog. The only way to make it through puppyhood and beyond is cuteness. Every dog will find a way to drive you up the wall. From dumb dog to smart dog, they're all a double whopping handful. Hang in there. Patience pays off. And cuteness.

Ian's Wild Kingdom

Ian came to visit, and delighted in photographing the cats. This one is particularly... chilling?

Wanton Destruction

This is what happens when you don't exercise your dog and decide that maybe you can get in a quick, relaxing shower. I'm currently sleeping in my sleeping bag, now that we're out a blanket. This shot was staged, but miraculously, no animals were injured.


Here is Jack, doing cool jumps on his snowboard. Yes, they are sideways. Tilt your head to your left. It's good for stretching your neck.

A Good Thwack

I don't believe in hitting dogs. Ever. But once in a while, my dog manages to hit me. Really hard. Usually with some really bony part of her body. This time, it was her skull. How she didn't knock either of us out, I'll never know. We were playing tug with her Kong, and she was doing the "shake the kong" move, and I was on dog-level at the time. Her skull connected with the side of my skull so hard that it absolutely ROCKED me. After a few moments in the fetal position, though, I felt fine. Great actually. Better than I had felt before she had cracked me in the head. Which leaves me to wonder precisely how many brain cells she killed. Because as everyone knows, ignorance is bliss. The entire episode makes me wonder if banging my head against the wall really is the solution to workplace stress.